


Hands Free

by hurricanine



Category: Lazer Team (2015)
Genre: First Time, M/M, Prostate Massage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-06
Updated: 2016-02-06
Packaged: 2018-05-18 16:23:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5934970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hurricanine/pseuds/hurricanine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In retrospect, he should be impressed at Zach's restraint. After all, it's taken him this long to do it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hands Free

**Author's Note:**

> The events and characters depicted in this fanfiction are purely fictitious. Any similarity to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
> 
> Also, is there a rating above 'explicit'? Because this falls under that category.

Somewhere along the line, Hagan had realized that he was the only responsible adult among the rest of the so-called Lazer Team, and had promptly taken up the mantle of leader. Of course, Zach would argue that _he_ was the leader since _he_ had named it, and _he_ had the 'lazer', but when it finally came down to it, in the heat of battle and the days that had followed, there was an unspoken understanding that Hagan was the one calling the shots.

Maybe it was because he had raised a teenage daughter and was therefore no stranger to being the one to rush in and save the day... or maybe it just came down to the fact that he was the one with the shield, which slotted him nicely into the roll of protector. But whatever it was, as things settled down following the whole 'Champions of Earth vs the Worgle' thing, it had become increasingly apparent that Hagan was the Team Mom.

Time for team training, but everyone was scattered to the four corners of the base? Someone go find Team Mom Hagan.

Woody had somehow got his helmet stuck through a window... again? Team Mom Hagan to the rescue.

Herman had passed out drunk and half naked on the practice field? Better leave it to Team Mom Hagan.

But after a week – a full week of being thrown from one training program to another, with no time to rest between the increasingly dangerous tests the resident team of scientists were concocting – they were given a day off. A whole _day_ without being poked or prodded or hit with projectiles, and Hagan would be damned if he wasn't taking the day off from being Team Mom too.

A whole day without dealing with some new form of bullshit, either from the army bastards or from his own teammates. He was done, out of commission, out to lunch, away from his keyboard.

Which is why, when Woody jerked upright in his chair, went an unappealing shade of pale green and then said, in that inexplicably stupid newfound accent, “Zachary is in urgent need of your assistance,” Hagan only reached for the television remote to turn the volume higher.

“Hagan.” He clicked the volume up again. “Hagan.” The volume slowly crept up to the max. “ _Hagan_!”

Hagan clenched his jaw in annoyance, but was momentarily stunned as the television turned off without warning. He looked down at the remote in his hand, dumbfounded, then turned his glare towards Woody.

“What the hell!”

“I can disable nearby electronic devices.” The corners of Woody's mouth tugged downwards into a serious looking frown. Hagan could already feel the little pinch of irritation in his temple that signified an oncoming headache. “Zachary is in urgent need of your assistance.

“Yeah, yeah, I heard you the first time...” He let out a tight sigh, throwing the remote onto an empty couch cushion. “Why my assistance? Why not yours, or Herman's?”

Woody's frown grew deeper, his brow drawing together to add an element of concern. “This is serious. I can hear him through the helmet – and he needs help.”

 

* * *

 

He wasn't able to get anything more out of Woody. The more he pressed for information, the more the kid shut down, only shaking his head and repeating that Zach needed his 'assistance'... whatever that meant. There was a lot of grumbling and eyerolling involved, but Hagan finally abandoned his hopes of a nice, long, relaxing day doing nothing more strenuous than lifting the television remote, and headed down to the dormitories.

He wasn't getting paid enough for this shit.

Actually, he wasn't getting paid at all.

After he rescued Zach from whatever dilemma he had gotten himself into, he was going to follow Herman's example and get the hell off the base, so he couldn't be bothered any more on his day of freedom. And honestly, how much trouble could the kid have gotten himself into in just an hour?

It wasn't until he opened the door to Zach's room that Hagan discovered precisely how much trouble Zach was capable of, and why Woody had sent him to help Zach, instead of assisting him himself.

“Hagan-!”

He stepped back and pulled the door shut, jaw clenched and eyes staring, unseeing. From the other side of the door, he could hear Zach's muffled shouting.

“No. No way in hell,” Hagan muttered. There was a lot he was willing to do for his team, a lot more he was willing to put up with for the sake of the human race, but this... this was too much. He did _not_ sign up for _this_.

“Hagan, please!”

Goddammit. It wasn't enough for the kid to sound desperate, but he had to sound frightened, too. Hagan sighed, and opened the door a fraction.

“Oh, thank god. Dude, you've gotta help me out here. I swear, I was just-”

“You're going to owe me. So much.” Hagan slowly pushed his way into the room, eyes firmly fixed on the wall and not on Zach.

“Fine, whatever, seriously man. Just... help. And don't tell anyone!”

“Woody already knows...” He shifted his gaze, trailing down the wall, across the carpet, to the edge of the bed and slowly to its occupant. “But... I won't say anything if you don't.”

“Deal.” From the edge of his vision, he could see the kid nodding frantically in agreement, but it was hard to focus on anything else while taking in the bigger picture.

Zach was naked, and it was everything Hagan had been avoiding every time they hit the showers after running the newest gambit of training and tests. There was a rosy flush creeping over Zach's chest, the faintest sheen of sweat glistening over lean muscles. As he watched, the same blush spread across Zach's freckled cheeks, all they way up to the loose curls of his hair, which looked unbelievable soft without his usual gel to keep them in line.

But what caught his eye the most – and good reason – was the impressive bit of contortion Zach had managed to get himself into. Hagan wasn't sure how he had managed it, but Zach had twisted his arm in just the right way to position the laser cannon between his legs, and had-

“Shut the door! Jesus, c'mon, man,” Zach groaned, and Hagan realized with a rush of guilt just how obvious he must have looked, getting an eyeful while standing in the doorway. He hurried in, closing the door behind him. Without thinking, he clicked the lock into place.

“That's... Wow.” Hagan looked away for a moment, but before long his eyes were drawn back to the sight in front of him, Zach sitting half curled on the bed, the tip of the laser cannon pressed flush to his skin, only the barest fraction of his cock visible. “You... really got it in there, didn't you.”

“God, _shut up_...” Zach's head dropped back as he groaned again, and Hagan's eyes immediately traced the slender curve of his neck, unblemished aside from the lingering flush of arousal and sweat, and the smattering of freckles. When Zach lifted his head again, Hagan looked away.

“Please don't tell me it's actually stuck in there.”

“It's... actually stuck in there.”

“... _Why_ is it stuck in there?”

“I though it was a good idea at the time!” Hagan rolled his eyes, glancing back over at the sound of Zach's resigned sigh. “And it totally was at first. Like hey, I'm the first guy to put his dick in an alien robot arm! But then... it... y'know. Got stuck.”

Hagan rubbed a hand over his face; he was in no way mentally prepared to have this conversation. “You put... your dick... in the laser cannon. Which shoots _lasers_.”

“I didn't think it was going to get stuck!”

“Are you a complete moron? Would you have put your dick in a loaded _gun_?”

The way Zach paused and shrugged should not have been so telling. Hagan half-turned towards the door, every instinct screaming at him to leave, but his sense of Team Mom obligation got the best of him, as it always would.

“Alright. How long have you been stuck like that.”

Zach thought for a moment. “Uh... half... an hour?”

“Jesus Christ...” Hagan shook his head. “Have you tried thinking of... things to make your... hard on go away?”

“Yeah, duh...” The kid sighed and made a face. “Everything I could think of, but it... just won't.”

“What about... lube? If you can get it slick, you might-”  
  
“Tried that too.” Hagan felt a pang of sympathy for the complete defeat in Zach's tone. “I can't get it out, and it's stuck, and now my dick's going to fall off and I'm going to _die_.”

“Hey, hey... No one's dick is going to fall off.” He took a few steps towards the bed, putting on his best team leader face of encouragement. “I promise.”

“... yeah?” There was a tiny spark of hope in Zach's expression, and really, didn't that make it all worth it?

Hagan nodded. “I'll take you to the hospital, and-”

“No!” The kid jolted up a little, then winced as the laser cannon pulled awkwardly. “They'll cut off my junk!”

“They won't cut off your junk...” He sighed. “They'll just put a needle into-”

“ _No!_ No needles!”

Hagan watched Zach for a moment, keeping the sensation of dread and horror off his own expression at the similar thought of needles going into places needles should never go, but with all the panic Zach was experiencing, his erection certainly wasn't going down.

This was going to call for drastic measures.

He took another step closer to the bed, watching as Zach tried to shift away, wincing through his worry and confusion. “N-No! I'll be fine! I'll just... wait until it goes away!”

“Zach... I don't think it's going to work that way. If you won't go to the hospital... and you can't get it off, then... the only other option is for _you_ to get off.”

“But I've been trying!” The desperation was beginning to build in Zach's voice. “I can't move!”

“Have you tried... you know...” Hagan's face scrunched up for a moment. “... other kinds of stimulation?”

“Like thinking about jerk off shit?” Zach sat back and frowned. “I mean, yeah, duh. All the classics, man. My seventh grade history teacher, this porn I once watched that had-”

“Okay, that's enough-”

“-and I even thought about fucking Mindy in her cheerleading uniform!”

“Zach! Would you shut your goddamn mouth?” Hagan stared at him. “I didn't mean _that_ kind of stimulation!”

Zach's head tilted a fraction, watching him with a puzzled expression. “Then... what?”

“Your... prostate?” A blank look was all he got in return, and Hagan sighed. Of all the things he imagined himself doing on his day off, giving an impromptu lesson on sex ed was not one of them. “It's a gland. In your ass.”

“What?” Zach's face scrunched up, a mixture of disgust and disbelief. “Is that a gay thing?”

“It... can be... But that's not the point - Zach, look. It might help, and if it doesn't, then you _have_ to go the hospital. So will you at least try?”

“I... _guess_...” Frowning, Zach reached across the bed, straining at the effort of not jostling around his equipment, and grabbed up a little bottle of lube. Then he looked up at Hagan again, looking just lost enough that Hagan couldn't help but take pity on him.

“... do you want me to-”

“Please?” The flush over Zach's cheeks grew a little darker as he spoke. “It's starting to hurt man, and I... don't know what I'm doing.”

Hagan shook his head and stepped forward, legs hitting the edge of the bed before he stopped. “I'll give it a shot.”

As he moved to kneel on the bed, Zach shuffled back to leave him room; his face burning a little and a decidedly heated feeling settling into the pit of his stomach, Hagan grabbed the bottle of lube and popped it open, grappling at it unsteadily with the unwieldy fingers of his gauntlet until he could pour some out on his hand.

He rubbed it between his fingers, warming up the cold gel, and glanced up to see Zach watching him with a nervous apprehension.

“Are you... fucking sure about this?”

Hagan rolled his eyes. “No, Zach, I just really want to shove my fingers up your ass. Yes, I'm fucking _sure_ about this! And if it doesn't work, then I'll personally shove a needle in your dick.”

Even as Zach winced and shut his eyes against the unwelcome mental image, Hagan moved forward to kneel between the kid's legs, nudging them further apart with his knees. Even doing this much awoke a stir of arousal in his belly, but Hagan forced himself to focus on the task at hand, cautiously bringing his hand between Zach's legs and rubbing his slick fingers over the kid's hole.

“Hagan...”

He wanted to jerk back at the sound of his name on Zach's lips, but he held firm, glancing up to see Zach watching him with dark, lidded eyes. “Don't worry, kid. I've got you...”

Pressing slowly with the tip of one finger, Hagan felt Zach shudder as he was breached, the kid's breath catching in his chest as it went in. When watching Zach's face became too much, Hagan lowered his gaze, down past flushed and sweating skin, pebbled nipples and the dark flush of his cock trapped in the cannon's grip, past balls drawn up and swollen, to the tight circle of his hole.

The arousal hit him in a dizzying rush, and again he tried to push it down. He shut his eyes for a moment, breathing in to steady himself, then worked in a second finger alongside the first.

“It's... weird, man...” Zach winced and shifted, feet pressed down against the bed as he tried to wiggle into a better position. “Feels... tight, kind of... hurts...”

He wasn't wrong. Zach's body felt like a vise around his fingers, slick and hot and unbearably tight. Hagan swallowed hard and worked them in a little further, watching as they sunk in another inch, as slow as he could manage it, until he was staring at Zach's hole stretching obscenely around the swell of two knuckles. Zach whined breathlessly, caught between pain and something else altogether.

“Zach... you need to relax,” Hagan murmured, drawing his fingers back when they could go no further. It was slow going, rocking them in and out in fractions of an inch, until Zach wasn't so painfully tight around the digits.

When the kid's breathing evened out, the tremor of tension easing from his body, Hagan gave a little push of his fingers and crooked them up. Immediately, Zach gave a startled inhale, eyes opening wide and his foot kicking out.

“Wh-What was _that_?”

“That,” Hagan said, with no small amount of relief, “is how we're going to get you off.”

“Yeah... 'kay...” Zach nodded a little, wetting his lips. His focus didn't last long, as Hagan stroked his fingers over Zach's prostate again, a slow slide that left the kid reeling. He moaned long and low, shivering and giving Hagan a flushed, glassy-eyed look.

“Are you... g-gonna put your dick in me?”

Hagan's head jerked up. “Wh-What? _No_!”

“Oh... Well, I mean... you're...” Zach's mouth fell slack for a moment, panting and blinking as Hagan pressed just a fraction harder against his prostate. “You're hard...”

“I'm not.” He clenched his jaw for a moment and shifted how he was kneeling on the bed. He could deny it all he liked – and he _would_ , until his dying day – but... oh yeah, he was hard. “No, kid, just... I'm just getting you off, that's all.”

“M'kay...”

Swearing under his breath, Hagan held Zach's hips steady with the heavy weight of the shield gauntlet, holding him down against the bed as he began to piston his fingers in and out, hitting the kid's prostate with nearly every stroke. The sounds Zach made were just as obscene as the hot, wet cling of his body around Zach's fingers, and Hagan knew beyond a shadow of a doubt how good it would feel around his own aching cock, how Zach would sound as he slowly filled him up.

He could do it, right now, and Zach wouldn't even stop him. Line himself up and push into that heat, feel the kid's body open up around him, watch him squirm and buck as he fought to fuck himself back down onto Hagan's cock, riding the line of pain and pleasure.

Hagan shook his head, eyes a touch unfocused. No. Not now. He swallowed, and rubbed his fingertips over the swell of Zach's prostate, keeping up the pressure until Zach keened, strung out and unconscious of the noises he was making, every part of his body tense and ready to snap. Only then did he let up, giving the kid a few precious seconds to breathe, fucking him shallowly with his fingers, until Hagan sought out his prostate again and pressed at it with quick, unerring strokes.

Zach's head fell back, mouth open and lips bitten red, the flush spread over every inch of his sinfully smooth, freckled skin. From there, tt wasn't difficult at all for Hagan to lean in, mouthing at the line of his neck, teeth scraping over the ridge of his collarbone, and with a choked sob, Zach came.

The boy's hips twitched weakly, held in place but putting up a good effort nonetheless. Hagan pressed his fingers in deep, nudging against his prostate as he milked out every whine and bitten-off moan the boy had to give.

Slowly, gingerly, Zach moved his arm, and his softening cock slid free of the laser cannon. He slumped back on the bed, boneless and gulping at the air, chest still heaving and thighs trembling from the strain.

Hagan dropped his head to Zach's chest, acutely aware of his own dick trying to bore its way through his jeans. Each of his senses were overwhelmed by _Zach_ – the taste of his sweat and skin, the smell of his arousal, the sound of him panting and whimpering still... He pulled his hand out from between Zach's legs, and slowly pushed himself up. Zach's eyes were heavy lidded, the barest glimpse of hazel, but Hagan watched as they trailed slowly down his chest, to the unbearable pressure between his legs.

“... y'know... y'should prob'ly take care 'f that,” Zach mumbled, sounding almost drunk from the intensity of his orgasm. “Not good t'... leave it like that...”

Swallowing, Hagan fumbled with the front of his jeans, fingers slick with lube slipping over the button and zipper. He had barely managed to get the zipper down when he glanced back up, sighing heavily when Zach let out a soft snore, his head tipped back and his mouth hanging open.

Well... at least he would have plenty of 'stimulation' for later.


End file.
